The Lighthouse - Poe's final work

Jan 1 — 1796. This day — my first on the light-house — I make this entry in my Diary, as agreed on with De Grät. As regularly as I can keep the journal, I will — but there is no telling what may happen to a man all alone as I am — I may get sick, or worse . . . . . So far well! The cutter had a narrow escape — but why dwell on that, since I am here, all safe? My spirits are beginning to revive already, at the mere thought of being — for once in my life at least — thoroughly alone; for, of course, Neptune, large as he is, is not to be taken into consideration as “society”. Would to Heaven I had ever found in “society” one half as much faith as in this poor dog: — in such case I and “society” might never have parted — even for the year . . . What most surprises me, is the difficulty De Grät had in getting me the appointment — and I a noble of the realm! It could not be that the Consistory had any doubt of my ability to manage the light. One man had attended it before now — and got on quite as well as the three that are usually put in. The duty is a mere nothing; and the printed instructions are as plain as possible. It never would have done to let Orndoff accompany me. I never should have made any way with my book as long as he was within reach of me, with his intolerable gossip — not to mention that everlasting mëerschaum. Besides, I wish to be alone . . . . . . It is strange that I never observed, until this moment, how dreary a sound that word has — “alone”! I could half fancy there was some peculiarity in the echo of these cylindrical walls — but oh, no! — this is all nonsense. I do believe I am going to get nervous about my insulation. That will never do. I have not forgotten De Grät’s prophecy. Now for a scramble to the lantern and a good look around to “see what I can see” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . To see what I can see indeed! — not very much. The swell is subsiding a little, I think — but the cutter will have a rough passage home, nevertheless. She will hardly get within sight of the Norland before noon to-morrow — and yet it can hardly be more than 190 or 200 miles.

Jan.2. I have passed this day in a species of ecstasy that I find impossible to describe. My passion for solitude could scarcely have been more thoroughly gratified. I do not say satisfied; for I believe I should never be satiated with such delight as I have experienced to-day . . . . . . . . . The wind lulled about day-break, and by the afternoon the sea had gone down materially . . . . . Nothing to be seen, with the telescope even, but ocean and sky, with an occasional gull.

Jan. 3. A dead calm all day. Towards evening, the sea looked very much like glass. A few sea-weeds came in sight; but besides them absolutelynothing all day — not even the slightest speck of cloud. . . . . . . . Occupied myself in exploring the light-house . . . . It is a very lofty one — as I find to my cost when I have to ascend its interminable stairs — not quite 160 feet, I should say, from the low-water mark to the top of the lantern. From the bottom inside the shaft, however, the distance to the summit is 180 feet at least: — thus the floor is 20 feet below the surface of the sea, even at low-tide . . . . . . It seems to me that the hollow interior at the bottom should have been filled in with solid masonry. Undoubtedly the whole would have been thus rendered more safe: — but what am I thinking about? A structure such as this is safe enough under any circumstances. I should feel myself secure in it during the fiercest hurricane that ever raged — and yet I have heard seamen say occasionally, with a wind at South-West, the sea has been known to run higher here than any where with the single exception of the Western opening of the Straits of Magellan. No mere sea, though, could accomplish anything with this solid iron-riveted wall — which, at 50 feet from high-water mark, is four feet thick, if one inch . . . . . . . . The basis on which the structure rests seems to me to be chalk . . . . . .

Jan 4.

This is Poe's final work, he did not live to finish it, and it almost feels like he is predicting his certain demise through his literary talents... Truly, this is creepy, fascinating, and sends a chill down my spine.

Poem About Society

this is a poem I wrote and will be performing tonight at Steaming Bean Coffee:

"Poem About Society" by Jake DeLarge:
They're still asleep as I've awoken
Society hates those who are outspoken
There's no such thing as individuals
The human race deserves to grow minimal
Poetry is beautiful, flawless imperfection
As everyone walks in the same direction
Nobody thinking by themselves anymore
Losing their sanity walking out the door
I don't believe in love
I don't believe in romance
I don't believe I'm happy
With the Devil of which I dance
I don't understand the world
I don't understand society
I don't believe in beliefs
even the truth has lied to me.

War Against the Homeless

It seems like society is raging war against the homeless, and little to no help is being provided to those who are cold and starving, most of them veterans I might add. I've met many homeless people on my path, most of them kind and caring, intelligent and poetic. It is illegal to sleep in parks during the night, forcing the homeless to be on an all-night schedule, which makes it hard for them to progress since most businesses and resources are not open 24-hours. The Mana Soup Kitchen helps out a lot, but otherwise I'm not seeing anything done to help the homeless; it just seems like every town especially Durango wants to get rid of them, rather than bring them up to a higher place than they were before. Homeless people are people as well, and they are treated as less than what they're worth. Being homeless should not be illegal. And while I understand that some homeless people are alcoholics and/or addicts, the police do nothing except for drop them off at detox and nothing else is done from that point on. This war against the homeless needs to stop, I've grown up in poverty all my life. Being poor and down on your luck should never be made a crime.

Jake DeLarge

"The Antisocial Nihilist"

The Rules of Wicca

My best friend is teaching me about Wicca, which is my personal religious belief system.
Here are the Wiccan Rules, which she sent me via Facebook:

1. We practice rites to attune ourselves with the natural rhythm of life forces marked by the phases of the moon and the seasonal quarters and cross quarters.

2.we recognize that our intelligence gives us a unique responsibility toward our environment. We seek to live in harmony with nature, in ecological balance offering fulfillment to life and consciousness within an evolutionary concept.

3.we acknowledge a depth of power far greeter than is apparent to the average person. Because this power is far greater than ordinary, we sometimes call this force supernatural, but we see this power lying within that which is naturally potential to all.

4.we conceive of the creative power in the universe as manifesting through polarity , as masculine and feminine. And that this creative power lives in all people , and functions through the interaction of the masculine and feminine. We value neither above the other, knowing eAch to be supportive of the other . We value sexuality as pleasure, as the symbol and embodiment of life.

5.we recognize both outer worlds and inner, or psychological , worlds sometimes known as the spirit world, the collective unconscious, the inner planets, etc, and we see in the interaction of these two dimensions the basis for paranormal phenomena and magickal exercises. We neglect neither dimension for the other, seeing both as necessary for our fulfillment.

6.we do not recognize any authoritarian hierarchy, but do honor those who teach , respect those who share their greeter knowledge and wisdom, and acknowledge those who have courageously given themselves in leadership.

7. We see religion, magick,and wisdom in living as United in the way one views the world and lives within it, a world view and philosophy of life,which we identify as witchcraft or the Wiccan way.

8.calling oneself witch does not make a witch. But neither does hereditary itself, nor the collecting of titles, degrees, and initiations. A witch seeks to control the forces within him/herself that make life possible to live wisely and well, without harm to others, and in harmony with nature.

9. We acknowledge that it is affirmation and fulfillment of life, in a continuation of evolution and development of consciousness , that gives meaning to the universe we know, and to our personal role within that universe.

10.our only animosity toward Christianity , or toward any other religion or philosophy of life, is to extent that these institutions have claimed to be the one and true right and only way. And have sought to deny freedom to others and suppress others ways of religious practices and beliefs.

11. As American witches, we do not feel threatened by debates on the history of the craft, the origins of the various terms, the legitimacy of various aspects of different traditions. We concern ourselves with our present , and our future.

12. We do not accept the concept of absolute evil, nor do we worship any entity known as satan or the devil as defined by Christian tradition. We do not seek power through the suffering of others,nor do we accept the concept that personal benefits can only be derived by denial to another.

13. We work within nature for that which is contributory to our heAlth and well being. Not bound by traditions from other times and other cultures, we owe no allegiance to any person or power greater than the divinity manifest through our own being. As American witches we welcome and respect all life affirming teachings and traditions. We seek to learn from all and to share our learning. We do not wish to open ourselves to the destruction of Wicca by those on self serving power trips, or to philosophies and practices contraditory to these principles. In seeking to exclude those whose ways are contradictory to ours, we do not want to deny any participation with any person who carries a sincere interest in our knowledge and beliefs , regardless of race, color, sex, age, national or cultural origins, or sexual preference.

Optimistic Nihilism and Pessimistic Nihilism

There seems to be two different types of nihilists commonly found in this world.

Optimistic nihilists are those that I describe to enjoy their life, even though they realize it is without meaning and purpose, but that doesn't seem to stop them from enjoying little pleasures and living freer than most, ironically better than those who waste their time trying to find the purpose of life, completely negating the whole point of "pursuit of happiness." I've been reading much of Anton LaVey's work throughout my life, and the whole concept of LaVeyan Satanism seems to be based on a similar ideal of optimistic nihilism.

Pessimistic nihilists are somewhat stereotypical, like The Joker from Batman who famously says he wants to watch the world burn. They drudge about life being miserable, hopeless, meaningless and seem to be severely depressed and angry, not to mention anxiety ridden and perhaps mentally ill as well. This type of nihilism can be considered dangerous to certain people, which is a very good reason to be cautious but not entirely fear a pessimistic nihilist.

Personally, I am a romantic nihilist and moral nihilist. I feel as if we live in a modern society that no longer values respect, romance or common decency. Sex, drugs, hedonism and greed seem to be the popular trends these days, not that I'm complaining, but I'm not overjoyed either.

In other news, I'm currently reading "The Satanic Witch" by Anton LaVey.
A fellow traveler traded me this book for some ganja.
I will write a full review when I'm finished with this book.

Current Projects + Update

Sadly to say, I recently lost my Blackberry device so I will not be online as often as I would fancy. My Blackberry had tons of my photography and poetry, not to mention hundreds of downloaded songs, and plus I was working on making a skateboard video with some friends and all the footage was lost. Nevertheless, my current projects include a book of my original photography and poetry, as well as my first official album as DJ DethSmoke. The album is a mixture of trance, dubstep and chiptune and features many of my well-known songs plus some unreleased or rare material. I've mostly been working on poetry and photography, and have been taking a much-needed hiatus from my DJ career. I will not be able to post any more video blogs, so you will have to read my written word on this page from now on.

When I used to go by the name DJ SCAVENG3R, I released a free demo album on Soundcloud called "Executive Producer, Substance Abuser." It was my first official release, although not my best work, it's also not my worst. I made the album entirely on FL Studios, and it was kinda rushed as I was still experimenting and trying to find my style. I had originally planned to call my next album "Keyboard Assassin," but I've decided to call my newest release "Full Moon Syndrome" and this is the official track listing:

1. R3B3L420

2. King of Nerdcore

3. WTF is Juice?

4. Keyboard Assassin

5. Noize MixDown

6. Angel of Death

7. Dubska

8. Depression Dub

9. Kannabis Kode

10. Smoke Hash Every Day

11. Bonus Track

12. Outro

Album: "Full Moon Syndrome"

Release Date: April 20th, 2015

Genres: Dubstep, Trance, Chiptune, EDM

Label: Kannabis Krew Rekordz

Deadbeat Mothers & Standup Guys

Today as I was reading through my Facebook news feed, I found a trending article of a father who decided to raise his child who was born with down syndrome. A truly remarkable act from a stand-up guy, even though I do not know him personally. He decided to raise his child and be there, however, with the threat of divorce from his seemingly uncaring spouse. I hear a lot of talk of deadbeat fathers, but feminazis never point out that mothers can be just as neglectful and selfish, i.e. the Casey Anthony trial is the biggest example of reverse-misogyny. Before I get too involved with this blog, let me reiterate that I'm not a misogynist and do not hate women, although my older posts and viewpoints have been questionable to many. I've never met my father, and my mother can only be describe as a selfish drug addicted narcissist, so the psychology of families is something I am rather interest in. Abandoning a child with a sickness, whether it be mental illness or down syndrome, something completely outside the child's control, is even sicker than any illness could allow. I personally take most individuals on an individual basis; it does matter what gender or race you are from, if you are selfish and uncaring chances are you are not a good friend. I've met meth addicts who are more morally upright than this mother, and I'm not even exaggerating (most of you know my personal struggles with addiction). I am not angry as much as I am once again disapointed with the disgusting nature of the human race.

I am the Antisocial Nihilist, thank you for reading my thoughts today.